We long for deep community. We strive for healthy and helpful relationships with family members, church people, and neighbors. But if we’re honest with ourselves, especially as parents, we usually stay in that longing spot. We want the village, but we don’t feel like we can do anything about it.
God’s Invitation to Invite
People are most comfortable opening up when they are invited into a home setting. Meeting people in a public place, such as a coffee shop, has a time and place, but at some point, one must open his or her front door to create deeper bonds.
I think I like the idea of hosting more than actually hosting people in my home. I like the process of cleaning, deciding on the food, making activities, and crafting a space for the event. But truthfully, when the people actually walk through the door, I start to get extremely nervous. Satan starts whispering his lies. What if people don’t really want to be here? What if no one is having fun? People are noticing it’s not comfortable to hang out in this room. You need a bigger house.
Hospitality isn’t just some buzzword; it’s a command from God. Our mindset around hosting others inside our home needs to shift from “This is a burden” to “This is Kingdom work.” Romans 12:13 states:
“Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.”
Excuse #1: My House Is Too Small
If you feel your home is too small, there are most likely people in your life who also have a small home. Most people don’t have homes that would be featured in Better Homes & Gardens. It’s not about the size of where you live but how you shape the space for others. It doesn’t have to look this way all the time, but for one gathering you can bring out ALL the things to sit on—play couches, floor pillows, dining room chairs, or anything that would make things more comfortable. Arrange a fun kid zone, especially if you’re hosting families with children. People won’t remember the size of your living room, but they will remember the way you crafted the space for them.
Excuse #2: My Children Are Too Little
Hosting people can cause disruption to your routine, and with little children, routines are key for smoother days and restful nights. That’s why it’s important to host often! That way you can have your “hosting time” routine!
Boundaries also come into play here. When people are going to be in your “neck of the woods,” tell them to come during non-nap times or for a specific meal. You are the gatekeeper of your home; let people know ahead of time that when you will be able to give your full attention and care toward hosting them.
Excuse #3: I’m Too Tired to Host
We need to get to the heart of this excuse. For the sake of clarity, I am going to assume that when people are too tired to host, their social batteries are drained from accepting other social invitations. Their hospitality is being practiced with a unique flare in other ways.
So, then, for those that are too tired to host for other reasons, is it that you feel you don’t have enough time or energy to make your house presentable? Again, most people have average houses that aren’t picture perfect. As long as it is visibly clean, people aren’t going to know or care that you shoved clutter away instead of putting it all in its proper place. The more you host, the easier it will be to maintain and manage your home.
Hosting is not about you and your things but about the people you host and their experience. They will remember how your home made them feel and the ways in which you were generous. If you are forming and building a community with one another, what everything looks and tastes like will not matter.
Cost of Community
All of these excuses are grounded in some reality. Hosting requires work. You will have a bit of extra work in the prep and on the backend of the invitation. But that is part of the cost of creating and maintaining a community. It will require you to vulnerably put yourself and your resources out there. But growing in hospitality helps you pursue the two greatest commandments that Jesus names in Matthew 22:34–40: love of the Lord and love of your neighbor.
And He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. . . . And . . . you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37, 39)
Scripture: ESV®.
In the December Everyday Faith Calendar, you and your family can explore hospitality as seen in Scripture.
