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Youth ministry volunteers may find the first few steps of developing relationships with teens somewhat awkward. Life stage, experience, and even vocabulary differences might make it hard to instantly connect. As an adult, you need to be ready to embarrass yourself a little in the process. Don't worry too much, though— often those first few miscommunications and honest mistakes help create spaces of mutuality and honesty. Simply be who God made you to be and enjoy who God made the teens in your congregation to be as well. Youth ministry leaders can ease that initial pairing by using opportunities for directed conversation or shared activity. Give them something to do together, like play- ing a strategy game or cooking a meal. Find topics of conversation that don't require intense personal disclo- sure. For example, in one of the first meetings between youth and mentors in your confirmation program, they could go on a five-minute walk around the church campus and identify all the things they saw, smelled, and felt. When they come back, create a list togeth- er to start a lesson on the First Article. Encourage adults to be as participatory as possible—it will help give solid footing to developing relationships. There are beautiful ways that technology, and especially social media, have allowed us to create networks of support and to connect with people who are passion- ate about what we are passionate about, even at a dis- tance. Technology allowed many adults in the church to stay connected to youth and their families during times in the pandemic when it wasn't safe to meet in person. There are some fantastic tools that can allow adults to get a glimpse into the lives of teens and meet them where they are at. Like all tools, technology has a dark side and can lead down some dangerous roads. Teens often deal with bullying, the fear of missing out, and comparing their lives to the posts of others in their online activity. Adult and teen phone usage sometimes keeps us from spend- ing time connecting even when we are together. Adults and teens can work together to use technology safely and to put it away when we need to see people face-to- face. In our technological culture, the time we have in person each week in the narthex or in Bible study can anchor young people to real relationships and keep them from being pushed out and isolated. The longer an adult can volunteer in youth ministry, the deeper their relationships will go. The hope is that God will use supportive adults over time to walk through both joys and struggles in the lives of youth. One of the easiest ways to make the connection between teens and adults is during youth ministry programming. The regular interaction and shared time together are a perfect spot to help adults not only build relationships but teach and share the Gospel, which the Holy Spirit will use to form the young people in your church. Youth ministry leaders should take advantage of the programming time by making sure the adults they invite are thinking of them- selves not just as chaperones or drivers but as relationship builders. Supportive adults are uniquely set up to anticipate transitions, spot rising issues, and engage at critical moments. 24 Lutheran Life

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