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WARMTH, CHALLENGE, AND GRACE: Small Changes Consistently over Time "Death by a thousand cuts." That was how one person described why they left the church after growing up in the LCMS. That phrase still sticks out years later because it encapsulates the experience that we hear from many who grow up in the church and walk away. This is one of the reasons fostering warmth, challenge, and grace in your youth ministry is so important. When we do not pay attention to the environment or culture of a church, we create a place where small cuts can go untreated. They fester and build on one an- other until it becomes less painful to leave the church than it is to stay. This environment is often not creat- ed maliciously, but out of inattention. Youth leaders, professional or lay, are stretched too thin and serve in a spiritual, emotional, and resource deficit. They are gifted and well-intentioned, but between running from program to program, trying to communicate with busy families, and recruiting other volunteers, they simply don't have enough time. They simply let the feel of the youth ministry be what it is. In busy youth ministry, it is easy to forget that Jesus Christ and Him crucified is the heart of the Church and of our youth ministry. The best place to energize an environment of warmth, challenge, and grace is at the foot of Jesus' cross. There we can work to bring balm to our youth and to one another from the hurts—big and little—with which we have cut one another. We offer confession and absolution to each other. We can call out hurt without fearing retaliation or disregard. While the church will still be filled with sinful people, deliber- ate and specific action can be taken through the power of the Holy Spirit to slow and heal the injuries we cause to one another. God can work through us to make a space in our churches where young people find such community and encouragement that it is the thought of leaving that becomes painful. One of the pitfalls of talking about environment is that it often feels different to highly engaged, longtime leaders than it does to those who are closer to the margins. As you look to make small changes, one of the first things you can do is be aware of what actions you currently take that might be impacting ministry. It can be natural to gravitate to the teens you know best, but often that leaves other teens disconnected. Maybe you use words or terms that not everyone is familiar with. Perhaps you get so focused on the activity of youth ministry that you lose the goal of pointing young people to Jesus. 12 Lutheran Life

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